Family Portrait
by Iliya Moroumetz
Summary: When you think you know someone well enough, they have a nasty tendancy to surprise you.


With the day's work completed, Rothion sighed and wiped off the sweat covering his face. Today's order was larger than usual and though Rothion was no slouch, even he had his limits. Removing his apron, he washed his face in a nearby basin and dried it with a towel.

"Hey, Blacksmith. You in?" a voice with a familiar accent cried from the front. Rothion growled beneath his breath and moved forward to greet the only customer he wish he didn't have to work with, despite the fact she paid well.

Wiping his hands in the towel, he replied as civilly as he could. "Yes, but you'd probably get my attention better if you called me by my name."

Taki shrugged. What was it with these Greeks? "Fine, Rothion. Is my order ready?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." He stepped into his shop and pulled out a short blade wrapped in a cloth. "Before you complain about anything, I followed your instructions to the letter."

Taki snorted and unwrapped her weapon from the cloth, whipped it around a few times before sheathing it back in her sheath. "Who said I was going to complain?"

Rothion folded his arms. "Oh, I don't know. Considering that you practically look down on everything that has nothing to do with your vaunted culture, I must be overreacting."

Now it was Taki's turn to vent. "Because, you oaf, if I tried going back to Japan, my clan would swoop down on me, take my head, and steal my sword. You're about the closest thing that I can use over here."

Rothion took her money and grumbled, "Look, can't we at least get along for a little while?"

Taki was about to snap back when his call to a temporary truce seemed more appealing than an extended argument. "Fine, for Sophitia's sake."

Placing his tools on the shelf, he removed his apron and started towards the exit, "If you're passing through, Sophitia and her siblings are having dinner. They told me to invite you if you were here."

"How cordial of them." Walking beside the blacksmith, she followed him through the town to their destination.

"Yes... you have to admit, Sophie's kind to a fault."

Walking on the cobble stone path to Sophitia's house, Taki nodded. "That she is. It's to her credit, I admit."

"At least we both can agree that we're both fond of her."

"So... what was she like when she was younger?"

"Oh, pretty similar than she is now."

"And her siblings?"

"Well, I don't know all the details, but I'd like to think that she's rubbed off onto them."

Taki was about to ask another question when they both heard some rather audible sounds. They both edged closer to the door of the Alexandra house to see Sophie, Cassandra, and Lucias engaging in a rather heated discussion.

Cassandra placed another small piece of meat in her mouth. "Sophie, this is delicious, did you make it yourself?"

With a humorous smile, the eldest of the Alexandra's said, "Oh dear no. That's just something mother stole from a bakery. Lucius, want any more?"

With a self satisfied smile, Lucius muttered, "Only a dozen mugs worth."

Sophitia balked at her brother's statement. "What are you so smug about? You look like you just inherited all the gold in the Egyptian tombs."

Finishing a sip of her own wine, Cassandra frowned. "Well, you may not be too far off. In fact, this stuff tastes like it came from a tomb. What, did you strain it through a mummy?"

Lucius added with a sour face. "Yeah, it tastes like mud. Mr. Mudd."

"Well, at least it wasn't as bad as the dinner."

"You realize I only burn it when you come home drunk, Cassie."

Lucius' smirk returned in force. "Oh, so you burn it every night."

Sophie turned on her brother. "Don't you bring that up again!"

He frowned back at his sister. "I have to, if I hold it in, I'll die."

Cassandra suddenly spoke up, with a flash of horrid realization. "Dye! That's what this stuff tastes like! Dye!" Blinking, she realized her siblings weren't eating the meat she prepared. "Didn't you two get enough, you hardly touched the meat."

Sophitia frowned, "I had no wish to touch it. It scared me."

Lucius added venomously, "by the gods, and speaking of meat being tough, I thought they retired war horses to stud!"

Gripping her knife dangerously, Cassandra growled, "what would you know about being a stud!"

Folding her arms arrogantly, Sophie continued, "It would certainly taste better if you used those fuzzy spices on it."

Blinking in surprise, Lucius turned to Sophie, "Oh! Were those spices? I thought the dog was sick!"

"Certainly, and to think that I would never had imagined seeing cold mutton served so many ways," she then turned to her brother, "especially in the desserts, brother dear!"

By this time Cassandra was gagging on her crepe, "Yuck! You know, half way through the dinner, the meat got up and beat my wine within an inch of its life the wine was too weak to defend itself!"

Lucius sneered, "Well, it looks like you were enjoying the pastries I made, or were you just being a pig!"

"The only pig around here with the thighs to prove it is Sophie!" Cassandra retorted.

Holding her fork hard enough to bend the handle, Sophitia growled, "Well, why don't you just skip dinner and pass out in the back yard."

Not wanting to see this escalate any further than it had, Lucius practically screamed at his sister, "Keep it down, you two!"

Sophie turned an angry eye to her brother. "I doubt I can keep anything down if I have to keep eating your desserts, Lucius!"

Cassandra added to their aggravation, "Yeah! In fact, forget the crepe, I may as well just eat the recipe!"

"Both of you! Shut... oh! We have guests." Sophie said calmly as though the past five minutes never occurred. Following suit, both Cassandra and Lucius followed suit and gave them warm and welcoming smiles.

"Wine?" Cassandra offered.

Both Taki and Rothion were both too shocked and appalled to say anything. Like time itself had stopped over them as the nearly violent confrontation had just been avoided.

When they both finally got their wits, Rothion turned to Taki asking in a near panicked voice, "Say, you want to get a gyro or two? My treat!"

In a similar manner as Rothion, Taki replied, "I'd love to! Let's go!" They both walked faster from the house than they would have liked and left the three siblings to wonder what spooked them so.

When they both got an ample distance away. Taki turned to the blacksmith and said, "You know, perhaps I misjudged you, Rothion."

A bit baffled, then soon understanding where she was coming from, he nodded. "Thanks... you too, Taki..."

When their hearts had calmed down completely, they came to a series of decisions.

One; the Alexandra family was crazy.

Two; Taki had a feeling that Rothion's skill with the forge could come in handy... and he wasn't the buffoon she initially thought he was.

Three; Rothion began to see the human underneath the cold and hard exterior of the ninja. In addition, she was quite attractive at that. And he was actually surprised and delighted when she asked him to accompany her across the continent to search for ways to end the nightmarish legacy of the Soul Edge.

He had accepted and under the cover of night, they left Athens to begin a cliché filled, action packed, and improbable story that no one would believe... which suited them just fine.

The End

Oh. My. Gosh. Becky! I just wrote the ONLY Taki/Rothion fic to ever exist... and I doubt no one else would ever take the bait because they're too busy fawning over the Shoujo-ai or the canon (which I prefer, to be honest). But I figured it would make a nice little humor ficlet to see both Taki and Rothie seeing just how bonkers the Alexandras and finding sanity with each other as opposed to Sophie. :p

It came to mind after watching a host segment from MST3K. The three boys were using a set of dialog similar to the one the siblings used in this fic. So the credit belongs to Joel Hodgson. Also, you have to admit, there are some families that can bite each other as hard as these three did and yet still remain civil and loving... well, I'd volunteer my family, but they're too busy formulating my destruction. :p

All things Soul Calibur belongs to Namco.


End file.
